So the other night, I was hanging out with a friend until the weeeeee hours of the morning (sorry guy). We’re watching tv and whatnot and he starts telling me how at some point (maybe 3am or something like that), an hour long program that sells knives comes on. An hour long program that sells knives at 3am EST.

He proceeds to tell me all types of knives that they sell like pocket knives, hunter knives, some Japanese swords, and they even sell you sets of 160 knives. They come in all sorts of sizes, colors, grips, cases, etc. etc.

I know, ridiculous. For two reasons:
1. Why is there an HOUR LONG knife show?
2. Why does he know all this stuff about an HOUR LONG knife show?

So time comes, and of course, there’s the program. And of course, I demand we watch the program (What? How can you not watch it now?) So we’re watching and of course the show is exactly how he explained it would be. EXCEPT it’s a lot more ridiculous.

First, imagine it being like an HSN segment except REALLY REALLY poor quality. I’m talking, the producer of the show found a video camera he bought in the 90s and thought, “awesome, I’m ready to make a show.”

Second, there are a RIDICULOUS amount of knives that are shown on that show. A ridiculous amount – which will be explained in the next point. Although this probably explains why the show’s using such a shiesty camera – they spent all their money buying knives.

Third, you only have 1 minute (maybe 2? I’m pretty sure it was 1) to call and purchase the item. And the order number isn’t simple. It’s like C302018i9a;h;aweigh;oi104y102y[. So imagine how many knives they went through. Yeah, a buttload. We actually called. It took about 50 seconds to get to an operator.

Fourth, in the background, the phones are ringing off the hook. I mean, non-stop as if this was some PBS telethon special with Kanye West, Bon Jovi (apparently England’s #3 Rock God), and other celebrities. Come on. It’s 3am. I know it isn’t live but seriously. That many people are buying knives right now? that many?

All in all, I’d say it’s a definite must see. At least once. I think the ridiculousness of the program itself is entertaining. And if you’re hanging out with my friend, a definite definite must watch. Because he apparently knows A LOT about knives.

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