This is the third time that this song has managed to bring me a profound and impacting message into my life in the past 9 months. First message was that “He is jealous for me” and when asked about what that was by Collis, my answer was, “my job, my career.”  This message came to me while listening to podcasts during my commute to work and listen to this very song.

The second message was “Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.”  When I had lost my job and I couldn’t understand or process why it was happening to me, this was the message that I got.  Although it feels so painful, and although I can’t see His love for me thru this hurricane like circumstance, He still loves.  And that in the midst of the confusion and the pain that He was there with me.

And this week, I got the third message.  My friend Jinny had posted this video on her FB and for the first time, I heard about the story behind this song.  And how appropriate this would come into my life at this point.  Not only for me but for Julia as she is dealing with her husband’s untimely death.  Although my confusion, anger and frustration is nowhere near what she or John McMillan might’ve gone thru, it’s still confusion, anger and frustration just the same.  And how comforting is it for me to know that even in my midst being upset with Him, He is still there for me and is in the midst of my mess.

I am angry with God at times.  I do get frustrated and confused towards God for His actions or lack of it.  It’s human nature to feel these things when life gets tough and we become so uncertain of what lies ahead.   This is how I deal with it.

Here are some quotes from this video that spoke to me profoundly:

“Love can be such non-word sometimes….

I really needed some sort of conversation with God.  Cause  I was really really frustrated. I felt like there was somethings I needed to say… I needed these words and I needed this conversation….

Love that I’m singing about in that song is really not a pretty and plain.  It’s not not a Hollywood hot pink love.  It’s the kind of love that’s willing to love things that are messy and willing to love even the difficult and sort of you know kind of gross kind of things….

You know in my anger and my resentment… and in my frustration He could still love me through that… And that He wasn’t offended at the fact that I was angry at God.

This song isn’t a celebration of  weakness and anger.  It’s a celebration of a God who would want to hang with us through those things,  He would want to be part of our lives, through those things and despite who we are.  He would want to be part of us and be part of our community and be part of our family.  That’s the kind of love I think I’m talking about. “