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When I found out I was going to be “transitioned” out of my current position, after couple of days crying, I had sent out an email to friends and family about my situation.  Then someone forwarded me this site called Lemonade the movieIt really gave me the courage and hope that I really needed at the time.  I’m sure it was a way for God to reassure me that things were gonna be okay and that this was happening for a reason beyond my limited understanding.  I’ve been going thru a bit of an emotional and spiritual discovery in the past couple of weeks.  When I have some more time to spare, which I will in couple of weeks, I’ll definitely post more things about my process and progress.

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Was at the flower market this week.  How much do I love flowers?  It almost makes me want to leave my solid, stable and secure job to  arrange flowers for living. 

Okay so I thought and thought and thought about how I could fool my boss today.  Couldn’t think of anything and I wasn’t able to get good enough suggestions from the folks around me.  Then I thought about walking in there and telling him that I was resigning.  Thought that would scare him a bit and thought it would be really funny at the end.  Then a daunting thought came to me.  What if he says, “okay, well we’ll have to figure something out.  Nice working with you and the security will escort you out now….”  So I had to stop myself from going into his office that is literally only 3 feet away from my desk.

Sometimes people ask how I know with certainty that God exists. I know He exists cause I can say without a doubt in my mind that my entire life has been a testimony about Him and what He can do in your life. With that said. It’s not easy being a Christian. I think it’s one of the hardest things to be in life.

Recently, I have been struggling with where I am in life. I know my passion and dream isn’t to be the best “number” person, I know I don’t enjoy my job. I love my company and the people I work with and all the perks that comes from being part of such a great team, but in all honesty, I hate what I do.

Five years ago, soon after my wedding, I had a chance to leave my field. I took a year off. Tried to start a flower/event planning company. It didn’t work. And now I’m really longing to follow my passion/dream again and don’t know if I’d be willing and able to make the kind of sacrifices that it would mean for me to do so. I would have to leave my comfortable job, making decent money and basically jump into the unknown. Who wants to do that? Clearly, not me!

But I’ve been getting “signs” of sorts. Not to bore you with details but I’ve been getting signs. One of them was this book. I had visited my old Pastor, while I was visiting LA and I just recently received a book from him called “The Dream Giver.” What does this mean? I am more confused than ever….
 

 

Synopsis : Welcome to a little story about a very big idea. This compelling modern-day parable tells the story of Ordinary, who dares to leave the Land of Familiar to pursue his Big Dream. You, too, have been given a Big Dream. One that can change your life. One that the Dream Giver wants you to achieve. Does your Big Dream seem hopelessly out of reach? Are you waiting for something or someone to make your dream happen? Then you’re ready for The Dream Giver. Let Bruce Wilkinson show you how to rise above the ordinary, conquer your fears, and overcome the obstacles that keep you from living your Big Dream. You were made for this. Now it’s time to begin your journey.

June 2019
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